Monday, November 23, 2015

Getting Out The Door

Getting up and actually going to the gym.
I've really surprised myself.

At first, getting up and going was the biggest hurdle.
I started packing my bag at night.

I go early (for me) in the morning.
Once the kids are dropped off at school, and the littlest one is with my mother in law.

I get my work out in, then shower and get ready for work.

I need to get a bit bigger of a gym bag.
I have one on my Christmas wish list.
I'm not particularly fond of the zebra print.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Dealing With Social Anxiety

There's people there.

They're looking at me.
I look like a hobo.

I have no idea how to use that machine.
They're on the elliptical beside me.
Don't look in my general direction.
Why does there have to be mirrors all around me.

okay. I'm done.

That pretty much summed up my first week back at the gym.
I have social anxiety.
I feel like that might have been obvious.

I think the biggest thing that helped me was to slowly ease into a routine.
I started by going early in the morning; after the kids were dropped off at school.
There weren't that many people and lots of open machines.
I could get used to the machines, and not feel like the whole room was staring at me -- just waiting for me to mess things up.
It didn't help that in the past year, they changed style of the Nautilus machines.
Talk about feeling awkward.
I would only go for 15-20 minutes.
I don't bother with headphones.
The gym happens to play pretty decent music.
I first thought that I would be able to use it as a "shield" from things going on around me.
Oddly, I found that using headphones made me a bit more self conscience. 
Do I sound like an asthmatic donkey?
Holy crap, was I just singing?

I know, it's all in my head.
Three weeks later, I still have little freak outs.

It's getting better.
Moral of the story?
Keep at it.